When did Robert De Niro get married? Details explored as actor's daughter Airyn comes out as trans

Robert De Niro, the two-time Academy Award–winning actor best known for classics like Taxi Driver and The Godfather Part II, has long balanced blockbuster success with a colorful personal life. When did Robert De Niro get married? That very question invites a journey through his four decades of high-profile relationships and family milestones.

Beyond his cinematic accolades, De Niro’s marriage history spans from a whirlwind first wedding in the 1970s to a well-publicized union in the late 1990s. Most recently, the spotlight has turned toward his 29-year-old daughter, Airyn, who publicly came out as transgender in April 2025, sharing her story in a candid interview about beginning hormone replacement therapy last November.

When did Robert De Niro get married? A look at his wedding history

Robert De Niro first said “I do” in 1976, marrying actress Diahnne Abbott, whom he met on the set of Taxi Driver. The couple adopted Abbott’s daughter, Drena, and welcomed a son, Raphael, before divorcing in 1988 amid De Niro’s rising star power. Following that chapter, he fathered twins Julian and Airyn in 1995 with model Toukie Smith via in vitro fertilization and surrogacy; Airyn was born that same year.

De Niro’s second marriage came in 1997 when he wed philanthropist Grace Hightower after meeting her at Mr. Chow restaurant a decade earlier. The pair welcomed son Elliot in 1998 and daughter Helen Grace via surrogate in 2011, but after filing for divorce in 1999—and never finalizing it—they renewed their vows in 2004 and ultimately separated in 2018.

Airyn, De Niro’s daughter with Smith, publicly came out as transgender in April 2025 and revealed she began hormone replacement therapy in November 2024. In her first interview with Them, Airyn explained, “There’s a difference between being visible and being seen. I don’t think I’ve been seen yet,” underscoring her decision to share this deeply personal journey. The announcement was made through a candid, first-person conversation published online, marking a poignant familial milestone against the backdrop of De Niro’s storied career.

Beyond the nuptials: De Niro’s career, marriages, and Airyn’s journey

Over a six-decade career, Robert De Niro has delivered landmark performances—from a psychotic taxi driver to a tormented boxer—and earned nominations for nearly every major film award. His personal life, too, has woven in and out of tabloids and society pages: after his first divorce in the late 1980s, he entered a nearly decade-long partnership with Toukie Smith that produced twins before ultimately marrying Grace Hightower in 1997.

Hightower, once unfamiliar with De Niro’s fame when they met at the upscale Mr. Chow, later told Katie Couric she had “no idea who De Niro was” until co-workers filled her in—an anecdote that humanizes the Hollywood icon’s romantic saga

Airyn’s transition journey, by contrast, unfolded quietly until she felt ready to speak openly. In her interview, she reflected on feeling “too feminine, not masculine enough” and credited visibility from figures like Laverne Cox for inspiring her decision to begin HRT last November.

GB News reported that paparazzi snapshots earlier this year inadvertently “outed” her, prompting Airyn to seize control of her narrative in an Instagram post and a Them magazine profile, declaring:

“Not only did they get information wrong about me… They just sort of reminded me that people really don’t know anything about me”.

Through it all, De Niro has emphasized privacy for his children, hoping they lead as “normal” a life as possible despite his fame—advice that Airyn credits for giving her the space to explore her identity on her own terms As the actor continues to add to his filmography and Airyn charts her own path, the De Niro family story remains one of reinvention, resilience, and, ultimately, the freedom to be seen for who they truly are.

From his first vows in 1976 to his second marriage in 1997, Robert De Niro’s life has spanned headline-making roles and headline-making relationships, culminating in his daughter Airyn’s brave coming-out as trans. As the family navigates change—personal and professional—De Niro’s legacy is enriched by moments both on-screen and off, reminding us that being truly seen can be the greatest performance of all.

Jasmine is a journalist for Primetimer

She graduated with a B.A. in English Literature from Sophia College in Mumbai, where she had the unique opportunity to publish research in social science and media.

Jasmine holds more than three years of experience including an ex-Founder's role at a digital marketing agency called 'Very Weird'. Additionally, she also had stints as a journalist at GrowMeOrganic and Scatter Content. She also worked in the Social Media Management team for beauty and wellness brands, Green Maven and Yoga House Mumbai.

Jasmine is a strict follower of ethics in journalism and stays updated with industry developments in order to improve her craft. She is committed to presenting diverse perspectives, which enriches her storytelling and enhances the relevance of her articles in today’s dynamic media landscape.