90 Day: The Single Life Finale: We'd Like Natalie to Be Excluded From This Narrative

At long last, Season 4 of 90 Day: The Single Life has come to an end. It was starting to feel like we’d never get here, and that we’d have to watch Natalie watch her romantic life (in the U.S., anyway) flash before her eyes forever.

But though the five-part Tell All may finally be over — the Pillow Talk is probably heating up as we speak, er, type — half the Single Life cast looks poised to make the same mistakes or, to put it more charitably, repeat the same old patterns. Last week’s installment proved that John and Tyray are both in a good place, as is Chantel, who wins over Miss Debbie without compromising on her vacation clothing choices. (Based on what we’ve seen of the new season of Happily Ever After, though, John is up to his old “pissing off Thais” tricks.)

Miss Debbie might need to keep an eye on Ruben the Cuban, but as far as we’re concerned, she won the Battle of the 90 Day Debbies, making her figurative cuts with scalpel-like precision ("You're a very destructive and demanding woman” — who would disagree??) instead of relentlessly dropping f-bombs and screeching about lying about your age, which the sequined Southern belle accurately observes is the only thing that earned her criticism during the Tell All.

Maybe Debbie “Mama Debbie” Johnson is scared of being replaced by the 68-year-old in the 90 Day world, but her vitriol seemed disproportionate. Okay, so no one wants to be called “Judas,” but Debbie J. came out guns blazing and aimed at Miss Debbie in her first appearance at this Tell All. Tonight, Mama Debbie served Natalie with divorce papers at Mike’s behest, a move that polarized the group, but that we’ll get to that momentarily.

It’s virtually everyone else that seems doomed to repeat history, as all four preceding installments of the Season 4 Tell All made abundantly clear. What’s also been pretty obvious since the first episode of the Tell All is that Veronica and Tim are content with their lives, and despite the rough patches, will always have each other’s back. While that friendship has surely been needed at times when they each sought to date other people, it also appears to be the very thing that will prevent any of those new relationships from really taking root.

So, we’ll say, for hopefully the last time, that Veronica and Tim should return to Pillow Talk, where they can provide color commentary, which is what they seem to prefer anyway, given how much they have to say about everyone else’s lives. Even they sound like they're over this whole thing — Tim tells the camera "I'm not opposed to falling in love, but I'm not looking for it,” looking wearier than ever. Veronica suggests she and Jamal can be, if you’ll pardon the dated term, “friends with benefits,” though that’s probably because she doesn’t know that he and Luisa left the Tell All together.

Veronica and Tim will be fine whether or not they decide to let the cameras in on their next search for love (though that won’t make for the most compelling reality TV). But if we could issue a moratorium on future appearances from any cast member, it would be for Natalie. Though Miss Debbie and Chantel regularly stood up for her, she looked so alone on stage throughout the Tell All. One man (Josh) remains ambivalent about a future together, and another man (Mike) just ended the hope of a future together, having her served with divorce papers while talking about the new love in his life. Her confusion over the divorce papers led to exasperated looks and chuckles from Tim and Veronica (see, that would be much more acceptable during a Pillow Talk).

Natalie does have a very sad and sincere moment, in which she confesses that she’s “the problem”: “Two relationship[s], both sh*t. I cannot figure it out. What can I say? Do you see any progress? No, I don't." But then she implies she won’t let go of Mike (even though she left him) and makes plans to have dinner with Josh, and now we’re just as exhausted as Tim is. If, as Natalie says, Mike is her bridge to the U.S., then it makes a certain amount of sense that she can only conceive of finding romance on a reality TV show. But if she’s not going to make better decisions and she can’t really be put on a cooling-off period from the show, then can we at least get her some therapy? She certainly sounds up for it: "My life is a mess,” Natalie sighs at the end of the Tell All. “I need to figure out my life myself, and I need to keep going." Let’s just hope she’s given the time and grace to do so off-camera.

90 Day: The Single Life Season 4, along with the five-part Tell All, is streaming on Discovery+ and Max. Join the discussion about the show in our forums.

Danette Chavez is the Editor-in-Chief of Primetimer and its biggest fan of puns.