Below Deck Power Rankings, Week 7.16: "Here Comes Drama"

The only thing better than a new episode of Below Deck on Monday nights is Sarah D Bunting's Tuesday morning power rankings. Click here for previous Below Deck power rankings.

Below Deck S07, E16: "The Scorpion Queen"

Kevin's back is still fouled up, but he powers through, and isn't so off his game that he can't produce an eight-egg omelet (!) and blame Kate for not enabling a last-minute service change he didn't plan with her beforehand.

Kate really doesn't need Kevin's help aiding or abetting drama: she's continuing to flirt with Tanner, which nettles Simone; she's by turns comforting Rhylee as she struggles with the rest of the deck crew mean-girling her, and corralling Rhylee when she's too confrontational at the Thai market. And when she walks in on what she thinks is the boys' club talking trash about her, Kate physically blocks Kevin from entering the galley, and the kerfuffle wakes up Captain Lee. That's not going to end well.

Neither is the Brian/Courtney boatmance; after a brief detente (and an unwelcome appearance from Courtney's baby voice), Brian snaps at her for taking Rhylee's side at the market and makes her cry. For a guy she's not even sleeping with -- and yes, an off-camera producer confirms this -- he's way too much trouble.

Who's a delicious fried scorpion, and who's just poisonous? Your Episode 16 power rankings...

1. Courtney. I agree with her squashing it and saying she doesn't want to fight anymore; I also agree with her deciding Brian's too aggressive and hypocritical, and shouldn't speak to her the way he does. I also also agree that even Rocky Balboa does not need eight eggs. [Last week: 1]

2. Rhylee. Her frustration is completely understandable; her co-workers are acting snotty fools, and her boss is more or less encouraging it, when he's not actively participating. At the same time, Rhylee has several opportunities to go along to get along, and takes none of them -- she bickers with Tanner over when to clean the deck, she micromanages Kevin's purchases at the insect stand (the clauses I type in this job sometimes, honestly), and she bites Kate's head off repeatedly when Kate is trying to save her from herself. Rhylee should absolutely stand up for herself, but she so often seems to shoot past that and into picking fights. But she's maintaining a high ranking because she's so sweet and nurturing to Simone when Simone is fuming about "Kanner"...and because almost everyone else on Valor is a horse's ass. [Last week: 2]

3. Simone. Who among us can't relate to her "I hate that I still give a shit" agita? And some of her anger towards Kate is misplaced, but...not all of it. [Last week: 7]

4. Captain Lee. "There'll be hell to pay … and I'm it" is a great line, but it's got a little less force than it might after he's spent so much of the season deliberately not seeing the toxic bro-down happening among his deck crew. And after he suggests Kate find tiny-dick lollipops for their next charter guest. [Last week: 4]

5. Kate. She's sufficiently disgusted by Tanner joining in the bullying of Rhylee that a hook-up is off the table, THANK GOD. Not a great week for the chief stew, however, starting with her choice of neckline, which does not play to her strengths; her shrugging in a talking-head that she'd never break girl code, except that Simone's being annoying, which is not how girl code OR being a boss works; and her noisy, needless antagonizing of Kevin at the end of the night out. Like, Kevin sucks, but if you think making him go the long way to get late-night snacks will teach him anything, you're concussed. [Last week: 3]

6. The guests. The primary continues to act like a freshman about getting it in with her boyfriend (who, not for nothing, should consider a sideline in reading thriller-novel audiobooks), but they love the food, don't get wasted, and leave a nice tip. And the final primary of the season is Jemele Hill, who has made every pain-in-the-ass basic-bachelorette request, probably ironically, and I can't wait. [Last week: 6]

7. Brian. Think I was joking about the boys "mean-girling" Rhylee? At the market, Brian buys the team friendship bracelets. Which I would fully think was sweet if he weren't a meddling dillweed who makes Courtney cry. [Last week: 8]

8. Kevin. Accusing Kate of being "checked out" when she doesn't read his mind, basically helping himself at the market booth (and taking forever), theatrically wailing that Rhylee is a "fucking bitch," hollering at Tanner that he's got a "mission" to have sex with Kate...he needs a kick in the coccyx. [Last week: 5]

9. Ashton. He still sucks -- and is so sunburned, it's disconcerting -- but I think he does try to get along with Rhylee, or at least not do anything that makes him a lightning rod for her rage. But he doesn't try to quash the trash-talk, or make his other employees move over and make room for her in the crew mess, and you can't be letting that middle-school cafeteria nonsense go on amongst your staff, you just can't. [Last week: 10]

10. Tanner. "I don't like bitchy girls -- but I also want to get laid." Might want to widen your parameters to "girls without TVs," ambassador. [Last week: 9]

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Sarah D. Bunting co-founded Television Without Pity, and her work has appeared in Glamour and New York, and on MSNBC, NPR's Monkey See blog, MLB.com, and Yahoo!. Find her at her true-crime newsletter, Best Evidence, and on TV podcasts Extra Hot Great and Again With This.