The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: Stassi Schroeder addresses Whitney Leavitt's parenting controversy

Stassi Schroeder is pushing back on criticism aimed at The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star Whitney Leavitt, calling out what she describes as “mom-shaming” from Nick Viall and Natalie Joy and turning the spotlight onto how families divide parenting and work.

On a recent Wednesday episode of her podcast, Schroeder addressed comments Viall and Joy made while discussing Leavitt’s upcoming run as Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway and her recent stint on Dancing With the Stars. 

“I don’t want to make it worse for them, but like you guys, that was weird,” Schroeder said, explaining that the segment hit a nerve because she often worries about how much she works as a mother of two.

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives personality Whitney Leavitt, who shares three children with husband Conner Leavitt, has been juggling social media work, the reality series Dancing With the Stars, and preparation for Broadway.

Schroeder, who recently hosted The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives season 3 reunion, used her own experience to frame the larger issue.

She said that questions about Leavitt’s parenting while working reflected a double standard and ignored the specifics of Leavitt’s household, where Conner stays home with Sedona, 6, Liam, 4, and Billy, 1. 

“Whatever anyone chooses to do for their family and what works for their family is fine. Everyone’s situation is different; we can’t be out there judging other families for what clearly works for them,” Schroeder said. “And it’s just like, if she was a man, this never f****ng would be [happening]. How crazy that they have a stay-at-home dad who’s awesome and present and there and supportive of his wife. How wild. Like that should be the norm.”

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star is at the center of a podcast debate

The controversy began when Nick Viall and Natalie Joy discussed Whitney Leavitt during a December episode of their show, focusing on how she would manage parenting while transitioning from Dancing With the Stars in Los Angeles to Chicago in New York.

Joy framed the conversation by saying, 

“I’m finally getting everything I’ve ever wanted in my life, and it’s obviously happening at a time where she’s got three kids who I’m sure demand her attention just as much as Roxie Hart and Dancing With The Stars does.”

She then asked how Leavitt was “managing, prioritizing being a mom and her kids,” pointing out that Dancing With the Stars required months in L.A., and Broadway would now pull her to New York.

Joy expanded that line of questioning with specifics about time and logistics: 

“She just did Dancing With The Stars for what, three, four months? I know she has kids in school level, maybe they’re homeschooled, I don’t know. But to be in L.A. for four months doing Dancing With The Stars, and then to now shift to NYC doing Chicago, like that takes so much of her time.”

Joy added, 

“How is she managing, prioritizing being a mom and her kids, who I imagine have some sort of schedule and routine? And I know their home base was Utah… I’m just so curious.”

During the segment, Viall also chimed in with a question about Leavitt’s performance abilities, asking, “Can she sing?” and prompting a producer to reply, 

“If she can’t, she will. She can do anything.”

Those remarks quickly drew criticism online from viewers who felt that the discussion crossed from curiosity into judgment about The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives cast members’ choices.

Schroeder, speaking days later, labeled the tone “mom-shaming” and said it resonated with her own fear that work might make her “not a good enough mom.”

She recalled her daughter Hartford, 4, asking, “Why do you work so much?” and described answering, 

“Because I love it and because I want to take care of you and because you said you wanted a bigger house.”

Schroeder said that insecurity made Joy and Viall’s comments “weird” to hear, particularly because, in her view, they came from fellow parents.

On her show, Schroeder and her co‑hosts also pointed out that Viall and Joy themselves have a young child, noting the contrast between questioning Leavitt’s schedule and managing their own.

She emphasized that in The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, viewers see Conner Leavitt actively present with their children while Whitney works. Schroeder said,

“Connor is actually the most supportive, and he’s so sincere about it every time I’m around them.” 

She recalled watching him champion his wife during Dancing With the Stars:

“He is pumping her up. During Dancing With The Stars, he was coming over to me and Beau on every commercial break, asking us what we thought and pumping Whitney up and being like, ‘You thought that dance was good? Just wait to her next one.’”

Schroeder became emotional as she talked about what that visibility could mean for the Leavitts’ children. 

“It’s so important that her kids are seeing her…” she began, before pausing. She then finished the thought by saying that watching their mother pursue her goals could shape their sense of what is possible.

“Like her kids are seeing her go after her dreams, and they’re now going to feel like any dream that they have, they can accomplish. It’s such a beautiful thing.”

In her view, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives offers an example of a household where a stay‑at‑home father and a working mother split responsibilities in a way that suits them, and she argued that judgment from outside that structure misses the point.

While the discussion started with a single podcast episode, it has since extended into a broader conversation about how The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives portrays non‑traditional arrangements within a community often stereotyped for rigid gender roles.

Schroeder’s comments defended Whitney Leavitt’s choices and Conner Leavitt’s role, criticizing what she described as a double standard that treats an ambitious mother differently from a father pursuing similar opportunities.

As of now, Nick Viall and Natalie Joy have not issued a public response to the backlash, leaving Schroeder’s remarks and the growing fan reaction as the latest word in a debate that began with one question about how a reality star would juggle Broadway, Dancing With the Stars, and life at home.

Stay tuned for more updates.