“All I was thinking about was trying to weigh as little as possible” - Lorde opens up about how her eating disorder stifled her creativity

In an interview on BBC Radio 1, Lorde spoke with host Jack Saunders about the tough personal battles that shaped her new album Virgin. She shared how, at one point, she worried she had lost her ability to create music.

“At the beginning of 2023, I was just, like, not in a great way on a lot of levels,” she told host Jack Saunders. “I never felt more disconnected from my creativity. I hadn’t had an idea in a long time.”

Lorde returned with Virgin on June 27 after stepping away from music for four years. The album includes some of her most honest and emotional songs so far. She told the host that the journey to make this record wasn’t easy. At the start of 2023, she remembered feeling distant from her identity as an artist. Lorde struggled to come up with ideas or inspiration.

She said her struggle with an eating disorder played a big role in creating that disconnect. Lorde explained how thoughts about food, exercise, and weight took over her life, making it impossible to focus on writing songs or expressing herself. She said her creative flow came back after she worked on breaking those habits and started taking her health more seriously.

“This was a period where all I was thinking about was trying to weigh as little as possible, and going to sleep thinking about food, and waking up thinking about food and exercise,” she continued. “That was my creative pursuit; that’s where it was all going. At the time I was like, ‘I need to stop doing this, because it’s blocking all of my artistry.’ Once that went away, it all started coming back.”

Lorde’s Virgin marks a return to creativity through healing and self-reflection

The new album explores ideas like self-image and healing. In the song “Broken Glass,” she talks about how her battle with disordered eating drained her creativity. The lyrics paint a clear picture of that time in her life: “I spent my summer getting lost in math/ Making weight took all I had.”

Lorde discussed not just her physical and emotional healing but also her journey to reclaim her power and control over her life. The closing song on her album, “David,” touches on these themes. The track draws inspiration from both Michelangelo's famous statue and the story of David and Goliath. It looks at the complicated ways power plays out in her personal and work experiences.

In the interview, Lorde explained that “David” doesn’t focus on just one moment. She described seeing patterns of authority and control, with older men often holding decision-making roles throughout her career. This backstory gives extra meaning to lyrics like, “I made you God ’cause it was all/ That I knew how to do/ But I don’t belong to anyone.”

The track reflects what many believe ties back to her past relationship with music executive Justin Warren. Lorde and Warren had spent years together after being first linked in 2015, but in 2023, she revealed she was facing heartbreak again.

Lorde described writing “David” as a pivotal moment. She saw it as a crucial way to let go of bottled-up emotions. The truth she poured into the song became an important part of finding creative freedom.

Virgin entered the Billboard 200 at No. 2 showing a powerful comeback for the singer. Fans are now applauding the album's honest lyrics and emotional openness, which represent a fresh chapter in Lorde's growing music career.