"It actually hit me like a ton of bricks": Louis Tomlinson opens up on his feelings following band member Liam Payne's death

Louis Tomlinson shared his experiences with loss, fame, and finding his creative path again in his first big interview after losing his former One Direction bandmate, Liam Payne. He spoke about how Payne’s death has impacted him, the challenges that come with being famous, and where he plans to take his new solo music.

"I naively thought that, at this point, I’d unfortunately be a little bit more well-versed with grief than other people my age," he shared with The Independent. "I thought that might mean something, but it didn’t at all. It’s something I’ll never really accept. I don’t think."

Now 33, Tomlinson looked back on how much it hurt to lose Payne, who passed away in 2024 after falling in Buenos Aires. The singer shared that even though he has faced loss before — like when his mother, Joanna Deakin, died in 2016 and his sister Félicité passed in 2019 — Payne’s passing feels like something he would never come to terms with.

Tomlison felt deeply affected and struggled when One Direction split in 2016.

“I felt a bit petulant about it at the time,” Tomlinson told The Independent in 2020. “It actually hit me like a ton of bricks.”

Looking back on Payne's place in the group, Tomlinson called him "the most vital part" of One Direction. He praised Payne's leadership skills and his work in writing songs. Tomlinson remembered how Payne gave consistent support during their time together, describing him as someone who "always showed up," no matter the challenges they faced.

Louis Tomlinson reflects on the pressures and isolation of early fame

Tomlinson talked about how tough early fame can be. One Direction, created in 2010 on The X Factor, turned into one of the most famous pop bands of the decade and sold over 70 million records. He remembered how overwhelming life in the public eye felt—being chased, having no personal space, and dealing with fame so young. In previous interviews with The Independent, Tomlinson said,

“I would probably still stand by that statement. Obviously, that statement was made before… [and] I can only speak about my own personal experience, [which] was fine.”

“Look, in any situation similar to this, hindsight is a really powerful thing. I don’t blame anyone for my experience in One Direction. Was it really hard work? Yes. Did we not have enough days off? Yes. But what was really challenging, more than any of those things, was being young and really famous and having people outside the hotels,” he explained, speaking of what fame brings into a person’s life.

“If you wanted to just go and get a coffee… even wanting to go for a s*** and having to walk [there] with your security. It’s dehumanising, those kinds of things,” Louis claimed.

When speaking about online platforms and the impact of internet commentary, Tomlinson criticized how digital culture focuses too much on creating drama around artists. He brought up a controversial podcast Payne appeared on in 2022, which sparked backlash. While avoiding specifics, Tomlinson voiced frustration with today’s “media,” saying it often ignores its duty to show care and understanding for public figures.